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Car-maggeddon Tournament Round 2, Battle 4: The Scoop from Soylent Green vs. The Tank from Tank Girl!

Welcome to Post-Apocalyptic Media’s Car-maggeddon Tournament, where we’ve pitted popular vehicles from various wastelands against one another in a battle to the death! 

There are 20 vehicles of different shapes and sizes. Who will win and be crowned the Wasteland Winner?  

Note: These vehicles are from movies only and one vehicle per movie. (And no space ships or aircraft)

 

How will Car-maggeddon work? Each Saturday, we will pitch two vehicles against one another based on six criteria (listed below)! 

Reliability/Functionality

Does the car have a tendency to break down? To lose parts? Can you sleep in it? 

Offense

Does the vehicle have any weapons or other ways to take out the competition? 

Defense

What armor (if any) does it have? How hard would it be for a zombie to get inside it or for someone to take out the driver from outside?  

Speed 

Can it outrun any threats, or does it just trundle along? 

Power

Can it ram its way out of anything holding it back? 

Aesthetics

This is basically a tie-breaker. In the battle, which vehicle has a higher “coolness factor” or matches best the wasteland look?

Check out the roaster below to see upcoming battles!

Round 2, Battle 4:

Car-maggeddon Tournament Round 2, Battle 4: The Scoop from Soylent Green vs. The Tank from Tank Girl!

This round is where we really separate the irradiated wheat from the chaff! 

In Battles 6 and 2 respectively, we saw the Scoop chow down on the cannibal’s truck from The Road while Tank Girl’s tank blasted the “bus” from Dawn of the Dead back into the mall. Unfortunately, while the Scoop was able to put the cannibal’s truck out of its misery, I’m not sure how well it will fare against a literal tank. But post-apocalyptic stories are often about the underdog, so onwards to battle! 

 

The Vehicles:

Both vehicles would have practical uses in the wasteland. The garbage truck would be a roomy place for one person to sleep and you could use the bin to store items, food, weapons, or even cart around a lot of people (for whatever purpose you deem necessary). The back would also be a good place to withstand a siege (against anything but a tank), given the thick steel walls. The tank on the other hand, aside from the chairs installed on the top, would be rather squishy and has less storage space. It’s more secure by far but less comfortable. 

But who needs comfort when you can sleep in safety? The garbage truck has no defensive or offensive capabilities (and its windows are huge and not reinforced). True, it can scoop things up or out of the way with the MB Loader on the front, but it has nothing to protect itself from the tank’s artillery. The tank could easily blast it to pieces with next to no resistance. 

In terms of speed and power, the tank had a much more capable opponent in the Econoline from Dawn of the Dead. The scoop is slow and lumbering and lacks the treads that enable the tank to move on all sorts of terrain.  



This leaves us with aesthetics. While an iconic vehicle from an iconic movie, the Scoop just doesn’t cut it in a real fight. The tank’s whacky decorations and overall badassery heavily outweigh the garbage truck in terms of what you’d like to be seen in cruising down an abandoned highway.  

In the end, as we suspected, the tank has rendered the Scoop to just one more piece of trash.

 

 

WINNER, Round 2, Battle 4: The Tank from Tank Girl!

 

Next week we’ll see whether Frankenstein’s Monster from Death Race can win against the Lawmaster from Judge Dredd! Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook group, or on Twitter who you think will win! Throw in the hashtag #car-maggeddon

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Check out the other battles here:

Battle 1: Mad Max’s Pursuit Special vs. the Mustang from Cherry 2000

Battle 2: The Bus from Dawn of the Dead vs. the Tank from Tank Girl

Battle 3: Snowpeircer vs. Judge Dredd’s Law Master

Battle 4: The Mercury Marquis from Stake Land vs. Tallahassee’s Escalade from Zombieland

Battle 5: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Panel Wagon from Hell Comes to Frogtown 

Battle 6: The Cannibals’ Truck from The Road vs. the “Scoop” from Soylent Green

Battle 7: The Duke’s Cadillac from Escape from New York vs. the Bentley from Doomsday

Battle 8: The Medusa from Bellflower vs. Frankenstein’s Monster from Death Race

Battle 9: Bill the Mule from The Postman vs. the Boat from Waterworld

Battle 10: The War Rig from Fury Road vs. the Green Goblin from Maximum Overdrive

Round 2, Battle 1: Mad Max’s Ford Falcon Pursuit Special vs. Tallahasse’s Escalade from Zombieland

Round 2, Battle 2: The Bentley from Doomsday vs. The War Rig from Fury Road

Round 2, Battle 3: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Boat from Waterworld

 

T. S. Beier is obsessed with science fiction, the ruins of industry, and Fallout. She is the author of What Branches Grow, a post-apocalyptic novel (which was a Top 5 Finalist in the 2020 Kindle Book Awards) and the upcoming Burnt Ship Trilogy (space opera). She is a book reviewer, editor, freelance writer, and co-owner of Rising Action Publishing Co. She currently lives in Ontario, Canada with her husband, two feral children, a one-eyed pug, and a Shepherd-Mastiff.

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