Welcome to Post-Apocalyptic Media’s Car-maggeddon Tournament, where we’ve pitted popular vehicles from various wastelands against one another in a battle to the death!
There are 20 vehicles of different shapes and sizes. Who will win and be crowned the Wasteland Winner?
Note: These vehicles are from movies only and one vehicle per movie. (And no space ships or aircraft)
How will Car-maggeddon work? Each Saturday, we will pitch two vehicles against one another based on six criteria (listed below)!
Reliability/Functionality
Does the car have a tendency to break down? To lose parts? Can you sleep in it?
Offense
Does the vehicle have any weapons or other ways to take out the competition?
Defense
What armor (if any) does it have? How hard would it be for a zombie to get inside it or for someone to take out the driver from outside?
Speed
Can it outrun any threats, or does it just trundle along?
Power
Can it ram its way out of anything holding it back?
Aesthetics
This is basically a tie-breaker. In the battle, which vehicle has a higher “coolness factor” or matches best the wasteland look?
Check out the roaster below to see upcoming battles! Once every battle is complete in Round 1, the winners will move on to round 2.
Round 1, Battle 7:
The Duke’s Cadillac from Escape from New York (1981) vs. the Bentley Continental GT from Doomsday (2008)!
This isn’t just a battle for the wasteland, but a battle for class! While it wouldn’t seem like luxury vehicles should have any place in the apocalypse, these two refute that idea.
In Escape from New York’s depiction of the future, New York City has been transformed into a maximum-security prison where everyone has a life sentence, and giant walls have been erected to house them. The Duke is the main crime boss of the prison, and he drives a 1977 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham, with the ever-memorable chandeliers mounted on the top.
Doomsday is set across the pond from NYC, in Scotland, quarantined due to a deadly virus (pandemic movies ring a little differently nowadays, don’t they?). Like Escape from New York, a wall has been erected around the containment area and the military has sent one person in to complete a mission. The Bentley, a 2008 Continental GT, only comes out to play the last quarter of the film, but it gives new meaning to taking a country drive in scenic Scotland.
Both movies have a badass car chase, a badass main character, and are a great deal of fun!
The Vehicles:
In terms of practical use, the Cadillac wins over the Bentley. It’s bigger and can fit more people or weapons, and it would be a better place to sleep. Likewise, while the Caddy is still a classy car, parts for it would be far easier to obtain in a wasteland scenario, and it wouldn’t have all the fancy electronic components of the Bentley. And if you maintain a classic car properly, it’ll run forever.
The cars don’t have much going for them in terms of offense or defense. Neither has been outfitted with any special features (disco ball aside), whether that’s armor plating or weapons. The Cadillac would provide more natural defense, being metal, but it would have fewer safety features in a crash.
It’s no question whatsoever that the Bentley would absolutely smoke the Cadillac in a race. At 0-60 in 4.8 seconds, the Bentley would slam past the Cadillac (which takes a painful 12.2 seconds) and likely take some of the crystals from the chandeliers with it. Likewise, the Bentley has superior steering, horsepower, and overall performance.
Even when it comes to ramming something, the cars would be on par. While the Duke’s sweet ride has the power to break through reasonable obstacles, the Bentley could use its 198 miles per hour top speed to disintegrate fences or the occasional humanoid roadblock (the Duke’s caddy does have experience in that arena, though).
This really only leaves what could be called the most important aspect of these battles: style. Both of these luxury vehicles would make you wasteland royalty, whether you have chandeliers on your car or not.
Unfortunately for the Cadillac, the Bentley triumphs over the Fleetwood, sending those chandeliers crashing down like that one from the start of the Phantom of the Opera. You know, a reference for all you classy types.
WINNER, Round 1, Battle 7: The Bentley from Doomsday!
Next Saturday, we’ll see who can survive longest: Medusa from Bellflower or Frankenstein from Death Race (2008)! Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook group, or on Twitter who you think will win! Throw in the hashtag #car-maggeddon !
Check out the other battles here:
Battle 1: Mad Max’s Pursuit Special vs. the Mustang from Cherry 2000
Battle 2: The Bus from Dawn of the Dead vs. the Tank from Tank Girl
Battle 3: Snowpeircer vs. Judge Dredd’s Law Master
Battle 4: The Mercury Marquis from Stake Land vs. Tallahassee’s Escalade from Zombieland
Battle 5: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Panel Wagon from Hell Comes to Frogtown
Battle 6: The Cannibals’ Truck from The Road vs. the “Scoop” from Soylent Green
Leave a Reply