Welcome to Post-Apocalyptic Media’s Car-maggeddon Tournament, where we’ve pitted popular vehicles from various wastelands against one another in a battle to the death!
There are 20 vehicles of different shapes and sizes. Who will win and be crowned the Wasteland Winner?
Note: These vehicles are from movies only and one vehicle per movie. (And no space ships or aircraft)
How will Car-maggeddon work? Each Saturday, we will pitch two vehicles against one another based on six criteria (listed below)!
Does the car have a tendency to break down? To lose parts? Can you sleep in it?
Does the vehicle have any weapons or other ways to take out the competition?
What armor (if any) does it have? How hard would it be for a zombie to get inside it or for someone to take out the driver from outside?
Can it outrun any threats, or does it just trundle along?
Can it ram its way out of anything holding it back?
This is basically a tie-breaker. In the battle, which vehicle has a higher “coolness factor” or matches best the wasteland look?
Check out the roaster below to see upcoming battles!
Round 2, Battle 3:
Car-maggeddon Tournament Round 2, Battle 3: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. The Boat from Waterworld!
Yes, this is quite possibly the most unfair battle yet, but given the Landmaster is the only amphibious vehicle and the boat is a sea-faring vessel, it was the only logical choice to pit them against one another.
If you recall from Battle 5 and Battle 9, the Landmaster smoked the Panel Wagon from Hell Comes to Frogtown and the boat sent Bill the Mule from The Postman out to pasture. So, in this battle, we have a twelve-wheeled armored personnel carrier versus a sixty-foot trimaran sailboat.
Which vehicle makes more sense to hunker down in? At first glance, you’d probably choose the Landmaster. Not only is it armored and can fit many people, but it’s resistant to radiation and designed to be repaired using parts from transport trucks. Yet, the trimaran is also quite large, doesn’t require a lot of maintenance (apart from the sails, which you could mend with any fabric in a pinch), and comes equipped with food (fish) and water (the urine filtration system). In truth, the Landmaster would become smelly and cramped quite quickly, and there’s nothing like sailing the ocean blue.
Unfortunately, the trimaran, while a more comfortable home, is not equipped with much in the ways of defense or offense. In fact, the trimaran is worse off than most motorboats, because it doesn’t have any sort of cover. The Landmaster could quite easily hide under the water, wait for the boat to approach unawares, then blast out of the water (like a crocodile!) opening fire with its plethora of rockets and guns (unlike a crocodile, at least none I’ve seen).
Yet, if the sailors were aware of the Landmaster, they could most likely escape. Trimarans, if you haven’t had the chance to ride one, are fast. They can go forty knots (which is sixty miles per hour) and with a seasoned captain could make hairpin turns. As long as there was wind, of course. There are a lot of dependencies when it comes to using a trimaran as a post-apocalyptic vehicle, and unlike a video game we don’t have any points to allocate to luck.
Likewise, power or ramming force doesn’t really apply here. Were the Landmaster and the Trimaran to smash into one another somehow, the Trimaran would be kindling in an instant against the Landmaster’s steel plating.
Despite the amphibious capabilities of the Landmaster, it doesn’t float, so one option (the only option other than escape) for the Trimaran would be to lure the Landmaster into a sunken pit or hidden crater in the ocean. Then again, the Landmaster can climb a sixty-degree incline, so it better be a big crater.
And I don’t even need to say why the Landmaster wins the post-apocalyptic aesthetics contest, do I?
It’s not surprising to hear that while the Trimaran wouldn’t be entirely hopeless in an apocalypse, being fast and agile, but it’s like a tuna where the Landmaster is a shark.
WINNER, Round 2, Battle 3: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley!
Next week we’ll see whether the Scoop from Soylent Green can win against the tank from Tank Girl! Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook group, or on Twitter who you think will win! Throw in the hashtag #car-maggeddon