Welcome to Post-Apocalyptic Media’s Car-maggeddon Tournament, where we’ve pitted popular vehicles from various wastelands against one another in a battle to the death!
There are 20 vehicles of different shapes and sizes. Who will win and be crowned the Wasteland Winner?
Note: These vehicles are from movies only and one vehicle per movie. (And no space ships or aircraft)
How will Car-maggeddon work? Each Saturday, we will pitch two vehicles against one another based on six criteria (listed below)!
Reliability/Functionality
Does the car have a tendency to break down? To lose parts? Can you sleep in it?
Offense
Does the vehicle have any weapons or other ways to take out the competition?
Defense
What armor (if any) does it have? How hard would it be for a zombie to get inside it or for someone to take out the driver from outside?
Speed
Can it outrun any threats, or does it just trundle along?
Power
Can it ram its way out of anything holding it back?
Aesthetics
This is basically a tie-breaker. In the battle, which vehicle has a higher “coolness factor” or matches best the wasteland look?
Check out the roaster below to see upcoming battles!
Round 2, Battle 1:
Mad Max’s Ford Falcon Pursuit Special, “the last of the V8 Interceptors” (1973) From Mad Max: The Road Warrior (1981) vs. Tallahassee’s Cadillac Escalade from Zombieland (2009)
Welcome to Round 2!
While Round 1 was a lot of fun, it’s about to get serious. As Tallahassee would say, “time to nut up or shut up”!
In Round 1, the Pursuit Special outmaneuvered the Mustang from Cherry 2000 and the Escalade destroyed the Mercury Marquis from Stake Land.
If you need a refresher, the Ford Falcon Pursuit Special was Max’s car in The Road Warrior and is a 1973 model. The Cadillac is a black 2003 Escalade emblazoned with a Number 3 (referring to Nascar’s Dale Earnhardt)
The Vehicles:
Getting right into it, which car is the most practical for living in a post-apocalyptic world? I’d say the threat of zombies and raiders are about the same. While raiders can make traps and use weapons, zombies fight with no regard for their own safety. Either way, you need a great car to not only escape in but hunker down inside.
Both the Cadillac and the Ford can be slept in or used as a quick cover, but the Escalade has far more creature comforts. Being thirty years newer, its seats are better designed and it’s also far bigger for storing more passengers or gear. Likewise, the Falcon’s passenger seat has been modified to suit a dog, so unless that’s your preferred companion, any new humans to your party are out of luck.
While the Falcon can get further miles to a tank, due to its extra fuel storage, parts for the Escalade are more readily available. As such, despite the cute dog in the Falcon, the Escalade is a better choice for practicality.
While the Escalade, like Tallahassee himself, is large and in charge, the Pursuit Special has an intensity the Escalade lacks when it comes to speed. Both cars have a V8, but the Falcon is lighter and the supercharger gives it quite the edge. The Pursuit Special has 600 horsepower versus the Escalade’s 345. As such, it would leave the Escalade in the dust to be swarmed by zombie clowns or Lord Humungus on his own.
The Escalade is equipped with an added plow that could shove the Falcon off the road (or smash into it), but the Pursuit Special is more nimble. As such, it could turn sharper, in order to avoid the Escalade’s attempts to ram it, then spin around and pepper the Escalade with whatever projectile weaponry its passengers are carrying.
Neither of these cars has much going for them in terms of defense, though the Escalade, being larger and newer (with better built-in safety features) would be better to withstand an attack.
They both also don’t have any offensive capabilities (like turrets or mounted guns, or people mounted on the front of their cars
but, the Pursuit Special has numerous hiding places for weapons throughout the car and the booby-trapped bomb.
And, of course, we can’t forget aesthetics. While Escalades were the luxury SUVs back in the days when Jay-Z and 50 Cent would rap about them and they appeared in many movies (like The Matrix: Reloaded), they are better suited to that setting.
Mad Max’s car is one of the first people think of when you say “post-apocalyptic vehicle”, so, of course, the beauty pageant title goes to the Falcon.
Overall, while the bigger and heavier Escalade isn’t a terrible choice for wasteland wandering, it forgot an important rule: “Travel Light”.
WINNER, Round 2, Battle 1: Mad Max’s Ford Falcon Pursuit Special!
Next week we’ll see whether the Bentley from Doomsday has a hope in hell of defeating Furiosa’s War Rig! Let us know in the comments, on our Facebook group, or on Twitter who you think will win! Throw in the hashtag #car-maggeddon
Battle 1: Mad Max’s Pursuit Special vs. the Mustang from Cherry 2000
Battle 2: The Bus from Dawn of the Dead vs. the Tank from Tank Girl
Battle 3: Snowpeircer vs. Judge Dredd’s Law Master
Battle 4: The Mercury Marquis from Stake Land vs. Tallahassee’s Escalade from Zombieland
Battle 5: The Landmaster from Damnation Alley vs. the Panel Wagon from Hell Comes to Frogtown
Battle 6: The Cannibals’ Truck from The Road vs. the “Scoop” from Soylent Green
Battle 7: The Duke’s Cadillac from Escape from New York vs. the Bentley from Doomsday
Battle 8: The Medusa from Bellflower vs. Frankenstein’s Monster from Death Race
Battle 9: Bill the Mule from The Postman vs. the Boat from Waterworld
Battle 10: The War Rig from Fury Road vs. the Green Goblin from Maximum Overdrive
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