So, most of you have probably heard that Utopia is now letting America vote for three people to be on the “Go Directly to Jail” shortlist, and Utopians will vote out one of the three very two weeks. Had to throw that in here in case you hadn’t heard.
But really, I’m more interested in the funny/crazy things that happen on Utopia. Aren’t you? And Cal is just the one to deliver! Don’t forget, you can highlight anything in this post and automatically share it on FB or Twitter. Me and new-fangled technology. 😉
First, a recent quote from Cal himself:
“I’m super masculine, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m a 9 on the masculine scale.”
[Tweet “”I’m a 9 on the masculine scale.” – Humble Cal on Utopia”]
Okkkkk, Cal. You do know that when people typically feel the need to keep pointing something out about themselves, it’s because they’re trying to convince themselves that it’s true, right?
Next, did you see what he’s selling???? It’s right here, but let me highlight the worst:
It’s a cell phone case selling for … wait for it … $125!!!!! I mean, I bought one of those expensive Lifeproof cases because I’m a huge clutz, and it cost less than this one… The description makes this all even better. It says that the case is made from “brain tanned buckskin.” What does that EVEN MEAN? Sure, I could Google it, but it’s more fun to speculate… Did he use an animal’s brains somehow in the process of making this? :-O
Even better is this beauty, which I believe was originally priced for TWICE THE AMOUNT, so bear that in mind when viewing this $160 beauty.
I feel like I should be nicer because it’s a FUR HAT for goodness sake. I mean, fur is expensive, right? RIGHT? But it’s just…it’s so ugly. 🙁 And here’s the lovely kicker:
“Hairs may fall out over time.” No guarantees with this communal farmer’s handmade hat, folks. If all the hairs fall out on Day 2, you knew the risks.
[Tweet “”Hairs may fall out” – Disclaimer on Cal’s custom-made hat”]
But wait, there’s more! An enterprising viewer found Cal’s OK Cupid profile. 😀 😀 😀 😀 Yep… It’s true! The link is here but I also saved a screenshot in case it’s taken down.
First, you will notice that he’s “Seeing Someone.” Nope, it’s not Nikki. He’s in a relationship in the outside world but taking a one-year break. Although, I guess it’s more like a permanent polyamorous break since he’s on OK Cupid…. But my favorite is his “You Should Message Me If” section… It includes this:
“I prefer to be judged by my actions, not by what unique clothes I wear or don’t wear.”
But… You’re selling handmade, super expensive clothes… And it seems like everything about you is the handmade clothes you wear… *confused*
Oh ya, one of his public questions is whether a nuclear war would be scary or interesting… I’m married so I don’t have an OK Cupid account. Anyone with an account want to see what his answer is?